Life with kids is ALWAYS an adventure. And I have 3 who are only 3 years apart. (yes, we're crazy.) This is my place to capture the craziness in all it's glory, because childhood only happens once. (thank goodness!)

When you get tired of reading about my kids visit my other blog all about ME!

Friday, February 13, 2009

Finally, my 100th post

I've been neglecting this little ol' blog of mine for far too long. My kids are just as funny and cute and clever as always. And I've actually thought of writing here several times. But I was right in the middle of my 100th post and I really wanted it to be funny but was having serious writers block every time I tried to finish it so then I just started ignoring it all together.

But I'm back. And this is my 100th post! I already subjected you to 100 things about me on my other blog so I decided that here I would write the top 100 ways you know you have kids.

Of course, all my kids are still preschool age. So I imagine the list would be quite different if you have kids in school and especially if you have teenagers. But, even if you only have teenagers now they were young once so I hope that you may still find things you can relate to. So, for your reading pleasure I now present:

You know you have kids when:

  1. Your home constantly looks like Fisher price puked on your floor
  2. You've ever uttered the phrase "because I said so."
  3. You find stroller reviews more interesting than car reviews
  4. If swapping car seats from one vehicle to another were an Olympic sport you'd have a fighting chance at taking home the gold medal.
  5. You have frozen chicken nuggets in your freezer
  6. All the mattresses in your house are covered with plastic
  7. You are considering a contribution to PBS this year because it's cheaper than a nanny
  8. The kids are at Grandma's for the night, you are alone with your spouse, and all you can think about is sleep.
  9. You can quote at least one Dr. Seuss Book
  10. You've ever had a long, in depth conversation with a spouse or close friend about poop
  11. You have a magnet on your fridge with the number to poison control
  12. Which was sent to you by poison control
  13. Because you've had to call poison control....
  14. ...more than once
  15. You have the PBS kids lineup memorized but have no clue what is on Prime time television
  16. Your digital picture count is in the thousands, and those are just of your kids
  17. Your library card is your best friend
  18. You've seen Toy Story at least 100 times
  19. >You know all about Really Useful engines
  20. You make up extra verses to children's songs
  21. You realize now how smart your mom actually is
  22. You haven't eaten a hot meal meal in (insert age of oldest child) years
  23. You can name every Pixar movie in a single breath
  24. You believe in Santa Clause
  25. And the tooth fairy
  26. And the Easter Bunny
  27. And all other mythical magical creatures
  28. Band-aids and kisses still cure everything
  29. You've ever been felt so much love you where sure your heart was going to burst out of your chest
  30. You have a detailed list of all the messes the Mr. Clean magic eraser doesn't get out.
  31. You have ever had to clean vomit from a bed....
  32. ....or a couch.....
  33. ....or the carpet.....
  34. ....or the carseat....
  35. ....or hair.....
  36. You've likely cleaned urine and fecal matter from all those same places as well
  37. You know what tune every single Fisher Price Little People toy sings (It's "this old man" although each toy has different words to the tune)
  38. A Good Night's sleep, what's that?
  39. You dread family portraits
  40. You feel way older than you should!
  41. The laundry at your house is worse than the energizer bunny, it just keeps going....
  42. .......and going........
  43. .......and going........
  44. .......and going........
  45. .......and going........
  46. .......and going........
  47. .......and going........
  48. .......and going........
  49. .......and going........
  50. .......and going........
  51. .......and going........
  52. You think naptime must be what heaven is like
  53. You've ever found a sippie cup with chunky milk in it
  54. Some days your little ones are the very reason you get out of bed in the morning
  55. And some days they are the very reason you want to throw the covers over your head and stay in bed forever
  56. You have strong opinions about breastfeeding (one way or the other)
  57. You think Elmo is terribly annoying
  58. But let your kids watch him anyway
  59. Because they love him
  60. Because all kids love him
  61. The term "Fine Dining" has been removed from your vocabulary
  62. A good meal is one at which nobody cries
  63. You cheat at Candy Land, otherwise the game would go on forever
  64. You lie to the pediatrician (Yes, he sleeps through the night, yes we have child gates on every staircase, yes I brush his teeth for 2 minutes 2 times a day every single day, yes she eats balanced meals from all 4 food groups, no she doesn't drink from a bottle anymore, etc.)
  65. You're still reading this
  66. You know at least one song about the potty
  67. You've ever been at an all adult dinner party and excused yourself to use the potty
  68. The list of emergency numbers you leave on your fridge for the babysitter is longer than the guest list at your wedding
  69. When trying to watch a movie you have to pause it AT LEAST 24 times
  70. You've ever watched a DVD with the subtitles on just so you could follow the story despite all the noise
  71. You think finding a sale at Old Navy is better than winning the lottery
  72. You tried to write off your Disney Movie Club Membership as a tax deduction, listed under "Qualified child care"
  73. The words "potty training" send a cold chill through your entire body
  74. You actually have a favorite kid's show
  75. But won't admit it
  76. You can finish the following line: "Clifford needed Emily, so she chose him for her own......"
  77. Over half the songs on your ipod fall in the "Children's Music" genre
  78. You're considering adding "jungle gym" to your resume
  79. You now understand what your dad meant all those times he said "I just can't have nice things."
  80. You've ever told your child that it "tastes like chicken" when trying to get him to try something new. (or maybe I'm the only one who does that.)
  81. You occasionally just blow the crumbs out of the breakfast dishes and reuse them for lunch time because you are tired of doing dishes! (maybe I'm the only one who does that, too.)
  82. You've ever silently sworn under your breath on Christmas morning about child toy packaging
  83. You talk to your child's imaginary friend
  84. You crave adult conversation
  85. You wonder why you bother renting movies because you always just fall asleep during them anyway
  86. The last time you exercised was.......
  87. You secretly hope that other people find your children cute, even though you'll never admit it
  88. Because, after all, your child is the cutest, smartest, funniest child you have ever seen
  89. You can't recall the last time your shirt stayed clean for an entire day
  90. You know that when kids get quiet it means they are doing something they shouldn't be
  91. You can sing "The Wheels on the Bus" in your sleep
  92. And sometimes you do
  93. You're reading this sometime after 10:00 pm (because it's the only time the kids will leave you along long enough to get through this forever long list!)
  94. You've read at least one of the items on this list out loud to your spouse with knowing kind of tone
  95. At times you hear you mother's words coming out of your own mouth
  96. You have ever had to utter the phrase "don't drink the bum water" (or something similar in nature)
  97. You have ever pulled the remote control out of the garbage can
  98. or the toilet
  99. You know that the term "childproof" is only a myth
  100. You can think of at least 10 more items I should add to this list (which I encourage you to leave in the comments)
Phew, I made it! Only took me 31/2 months!


Ryan said...


(Just didn't know what else to add to this fantastic list.)

Andria said...

1. You've taught the 5 year old how to find his favorite shows On Demand so you can read in peace for a half hour at night.

2. You didn't feel bad that the children's dinner last night was chocolate cake.

3. Your baby insists on sleeping in his car seat.

4. You've woke up in the morning only to discover that all of your Nesquick (fingernail polish, embossing powder, etc.) has been poured out on the floor.

5. You lock the bathroom door so you can be by yourself for a couple of minutes.

It's 11 o'clock and I'm too tired to write more. And did these make sense anyway?

Damselfly said...

This is great! I'm going to list it in my sidebar. Congrats!

Krista said...

Just wait until they give you gray hair. And you don't want them to date. And they're smarter than you'll ever be. You have to dwell on your list of 100 to remember you love them again. ;-) Great list!

HeidiPie said...

This was all too good, I started counting how many of them I could list too...but then I lost count way at the beginning and just read the rest.

pam said...

All ring so true!! What a great list.

orangemily said...

Well worth the wait! Funny and true at the same time.
I'm trying to think of things to add to your list, I'll have to come back when something comes to mind.

An Ordinary Mom said...

I loved the variation you did on this 100th post ... what a gem!

Somyr Perry said...

OMG it's 11:56 p.m. and I read this list to my husband outloud. We laughed our butts off. Congrats on your 100th!!

Annj said...

So true, so true. I would like to add
- Had their nose wiped on your shirt more often than not.

Jen said...

wow that is impressive.