Finally, my 100th post

I've been neglecting this little ol' blog of mine for far too long. My kids are just as funny and cute and clever as always. And I've actually thought of writing here several times. But I was right in the middle of my 100th post and I really wanted it to be funny but was having serious writers block every time I tried to finish it so then I just started ignoring it all together.

But I'm back. And this is my 100th post! I already subjected you to 100 things about me on my other blog so I decided that here I would write the top 100 ways you know you have kids.

Of course, all my kids are still preschool age. So I imagine the list would be quite different if you have kids in school and especially if you have teenagers. But, even if you only have teenagers now they were young once so I hope that you may still find things you can relate to. So, for your reading pleasure I now present:

You know you have kids when:

1. Your home constantly looks like Fisher price puked on your floor
2. You've ever uttered the phrase "because I said so."
3. You find stroller reviews more interesting than car reviews
4. If swapping car seats from one vehicle to another were an Olympic sport you'd have a fighting chance at taking home the gold medal.
5. You have frozen chicken nuggets in your freezer
6. All the mattresses in your house are covered with plastic
7. You are considering a contribution to PBS this year because it's cheaper than a nanny
8. The kids are at Grandma's for the night, you are alone with your spouse, and all you can think about is sleep.
9. You can quote at least one Dr. Seuss Book
10. You've ever had a long, in depth conversation with a spouse or close friend about poop
11. You have a magnet on your fridge with the number to poison control
12. Which was sent to you by poison control
13. Because you've had to call poison control....
14. ...more than once
    
15. You have the PBS kids lineup memorized but have no clue what is on Prime time television
    
16. Your digital picture count is in the thousands, and those are just of your kids
    
17. Your library card is your best friend
    
18. You've seen Toy Story at least 100 times
    
19. >You know all about Really Useful engines
20. You make up extra verses to children's songs
21. You realize now how smart your mom actually is
22. You haven't eaten a hot meal meal in (insert age of oldest child) years
23. You can name every Pixar movie in a single breath
24. You believe in Santa Clause
    
25. And the tooth fairy
26. And the Easter Bunny
27. And all other mythical magical creatures
28. Band-aids and kisses still cure everything
29. You've ever been felt so much love you where sure your heart was going to burst out of your chest
30. You have a detailed list of all the messes the Mr. Clean magic eraser doesn't get out.
31. You have ever had to clean vomit from a bed....
32. ....or a couch.....
33. ....or the carpet.....
34. ....or the carseat....
35. ....or hair.....
36. You've likely cleaned urine and fecal matter from all those same places as well
37. You know what tune every single Fisher Price Little People toy sings (It's "this old man" although each toy has different words to the tune)
    
38. A Good Night's sleep, what's that?
39. You dread family portraits
40. You feel way older than you should!
41. The laundry at your house is worse than the energizer bunny, it just keeps going....
42. .......and going........
43. .......and going........
44. .......and going........
45. .......and going........
46. .......and going........
47. .......and going........
48. .......and going........
49. .......and going........
50. .......and going........
51. .......and going........
52. You think naptime must be what heaven is like
53. You've ever found a sippie cup with chunky milk in it
54. Some days your little ones are the very reason you get out of bed in the morning
55. And some days they are the very reason you want to throw the covers over your head and stay in bed forever
    
56. You have strong opinions about breastfeeding (one way or the other)
57. You think Elmo is terribly annoying
58. But let your kids watch him anyway
59. Because they love him
60. Because all kids love him
61. The term "Fine Dining" has been removed from your vocabulary
62. A good meal is one at which nobody cries
63. You cheat at Candy Land, otherwise the game would go on forever
    
64. You lie to the pediatrician (Yes, he sleeps through the night, yes we have child gates on every staircase, yes I brush his teeth for 2 minutes 2 times a day every single day, yes she eats balanced meals from all 4 food groups, no she doesn't drink from a bottle anymore, etc.)
65. You're still reading this
66. You know at least one song about the potty
67. You've ever been at an all adult dinner party and excused yourself to use the potty
68. The list of emergency numbers you leave on your fridge for the babysitter is longer than the guest list at your wedding
69. When trying to watch a movie you have to pause it AT LEAST 24 times
70. You've ever watched a DVD with the subtitles on just so you could follow the story despite all the noise
71. You think finding a sale at Old Navy is better than winning the lottery
72. You tried to write off your Disney Movie Club Membership as a tax deduction, listed under "Qualified child care"
73. The words "potty training" send a cold chill through your entire body
74. You actually have a favorite kid's show
75. But won't admit it
76. You can finish the following line: "Clifford needed Emily, so she chose him for her own......"
77. Over half the songs on your ipod fall in the "Children's Music" genre
    
78. You're considering adding "jungle gym" to your resume
79. You now understand what your dad meant all those times he said "I just can't have nice things."
80. You've ever told your child that it "tastes like chicken" when trying to get him to try something new. (or maybe I'm the only one who does that.)
81. You occasionally just blow the crumbs out of the breakfast dishes and reuse them for lunch time because you are tired of doing dishes! (maybe I'm the only one who does that, too.)
82. You've ever silently sworn under your breath on Christmas morning about child toy packaging
83. You talk to your child's imaginary friend
84. You crave adult conversation
85. You wonder why you bother renting movies because you always just fall asleep during them anyway
86. The last time you exercised was.......
87. You secretly hope that other people find your children cute, even though you'll never admit it
88. Because, after all, your child is the cutest, smartest, funniest child you have ever seen
89. You can't recall the last time your shirt stayed clean for an entire day
90. You know that when kids get quiet it means they are doing something they shouldn't be
    
91. You can sing "The Wheels on the Bus" in your sleep
92. And sometimes you do
93. You're reading this sometime after 10:00 pm (because it's the only time the kids will leave you along long enough to get through this forever long list!)
94. You've read at least one of the items on this list out loud to your spouse with knowing kind of tone
    
95. At times you hear you mother's words coming out of your own mouth
96. You have ever had to utter the phrase "don't drink the bum water" (or something similar in nature)
97. You have ever pulled the remote control out of the garbage can
98. or the toilet
99. You know that the term "childproof" is only a myth
100. You can think of at least 10 more items I should add to this list (which I encourage you to leave in the comments)
     

Phew, I made it! Only took me 31/2 months!