We are as different as the Sun and the Sea

My children are a constant reminder that little people come from heaven already hardwired with their own independent personalities.

Sure, they both like to play with cars. And they both like chicken nuggets. But the list in ways that they are alike is much shorter than the list of ways in which they are different.

Adam is my social child. From the time he was a newborn he could innately sense if somebody was in the room with him. As long as I was in the room he was happy. If he was alone, tears galore! The child slept in my bed until he was nearly 3! He would still sleep in my bed today if I would let him! And the only reason he sleeps in his own room now is because somebody else sleeps in there with him. (first Zoey and now Harrison shares his room.) In fact right now I am sitting downstairs with Adam. He is laying on the couch opposite me. I got up a second ago to go check on Zoey and as I walked up the stairs he started to cry "I don't want to be alone. Come back."

Zoey, on the other hand is right now, this second, in her room all by herself and happy as a lark. She slept well in her own bed from the time she was born. She has slept in my bed on a few rare occasions, but for the most part is actually happier in her own. (She has actually cried about being put in bed with me before.) She can happily entertain herself and play by herself. While Adam always wants somebody to be playing with him.

Zoey's "naptime" is often a time when she just plays in her room by herself for a few hours. And she is happy to do so. While Adam is asking the whole time she is taking a nap if he can go wake her up to play with him. I think naptime is Zoey's favorite part of the day while it is Adam's least favorite.

The following an all too common scene are our house. (It happened just a few hours ago, in fact.) The kids declare that they are going to play outside. They get all ready (socks, shoes, jackets) and out the go. After being outside for 5 minutes or so Zoey is done and wants to come in. She is happy to let Adam stay outside and come in and play by herself. But Adam is traumatized by the thought of playing outside alone. So he tries to keep Zoey out. She cries. I tell him that if she wants to come in he has to let her in. He cries. At this point Adam has two very strong desires: to be outside and to be with Zoey. His desire to be with Zoey ALWAYS wins out and he ends up coming inside, too.

Adam HATES to be dirty. If he drips one tiny drop of milk on himself he thinks he needs to change his clothes. Food on his face send him into a spastic tantrum. And just forget about it if he get mud on himself while playing outside.

Zoey couldn't care less. She hates having her hands or face washed. And her clothes can be drenched and she won't ask for new clothes.

Adam still wants me to do EVERYTHING him. put my shirt on mom. find my shoes mom. get me a cracker mom. He is often heard saying "I can't do it." I am often heard saying "well, figure out how you can."

Zoey is my resourceful do it herself child. She doesn't want my help putting on her pants, even though she puts them on upside down. If she wants something she figures out how to get it. If it's up too high, she gets a stool (without me telling her to.) She just figures it out and does it on her own. She even "reads" to herself now. She no longer wants my bedtime stories. She would rather sit in the corner with her own book, mumbling to to herself.

People tell me ALL the time that my kids look so much alike. But don't be fooled. They really are as different as the sun and the sea!