Embarrasing 101

So, I should've learned by now to carry pull-ups with me. But you know, 3 kids, so many other things on my mind, I just forget.

And today they would've really come in handy!

I took the kids to the Discovery Gateway today. (got that year pass so I have to get my money's worth!) Inevitably as we are pulling into the parking garage Adam starts screaming that he has to use the bathroom. I keep telling him he has to wait. So of course it takes me some time to find a parking spot. And then I'm trying to get everybody unbuckled and the stroller out and this whole time he's crying and screaming. I tell him he either has to hold it or I can put one of Zoey's diapers on him.

He keeps saying he wants to hold it, but all the while he is screaming and crying and I'm sure he's going to pee all over himself any second.

So I get everybody on the stroller and we make a mad dash for the elevators, wishing that instead of running that I had a cape and could fly. We get there and of course the elevator is taking FOREVER to show up. But we have to take the elevator because I have a massive stroller with 3 kids on it. Luckily my mom was with me and she said I should just take Adam and go up the escalator and she'd wait with the other two kids for the elevator.

Afraid that Adam is going to explode at any minute I grab him off the stroller and make a dash...and he starts crying even harder (if that is possible) because his shoe came off when I grabbed him from the stroller. So I run back, still wondering where my supermom cape is, grab his shoe so no I'm carrying both him and the shoe and running full speed up the escalator.

As luck would have it I see the most beautiful sign staring at me first thing when I get to the top of the escalator. It says RESTROOMS and has a big red arrow pointing straight ahead. I head very quickly in that direction, still carrying Adam and the stray shoe.

Of course the beautiful sign gave me false hope because the restrooms were still like a million miles away down windy, twisty halls. I wanted to scream!

But we finally turn one corner and there they are! They could've been the Holy Grail for as excited as I was to finally see them....two doors, side by side. One bearing the word MEN and one bearing the word WOMEN.

But all hope was soon to fade as there was a sign on the floor in front of the women's room that said "closed for cleaning" So I told Adam he was just going to have to use the Men's room alone. I told him he'd have to go in and use the potty and I'd be right outside. So I open the door to the Men's room to shove him in, hoping it's a single stall bathroom and that it's empty. Well, I was to be disappointed on both accounts. I open the door and there is a guy standing right there at the sink. He starts spouting something at me in Spanish and Adam is crying and I am out of options. The guy starts telling me in broken English "this is men's, this is men's" I said "I know, but the women's is closed and he really has to go!" So he starts spouting off in Spanish again as I push my way into the bathroom past him pulling my 4 year old behind me. He starts speaking quickly (in Spanish again) to somebody who is in the stall and I can only assume he is telling his friend "there is some crazy woman in here so don't come out!"

He was nice enough to say "I'll hold door open for you" and he went and stood over by the door (giving me and Adam our space) while I helped Adam use the urinal (our only choice)

It was horribly embarrassing, and I might add that Men's rooms are really disgusting. (I might add this is the second men's room I've had to take Adam into in the past 2 weeks. the last one was a gas station and the restrooms were single stall and the woman's was locked.)

If braving the men's room for the sake of a 4-year old bladder does not put me in the running for mother of the year I don't know what does!

I should write sitcoms because I wouldn't even have to make stuff up!

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